Student: Can you hold on to my wallet for me while we take the exam?
There may or may not be money in it.
Teacher: I can’t be bought!
Student: Yes, but can you be rented for a little while?

A teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked,
“Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Pupil: I get up early!

Teacher: Why are you late?
Boy: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Boy: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!